Snake in the grass

"Go wild in the country, where snakes in the grass are absolutely free". 

I can still remember Annabella Lwin, of new-wave pop group Bow Wow Wow, singing those words on Top of the Pops back in 1982. Next morning her hypnotic good looks were the talk of the playground but it was that chorus that stuck with me; a clarion call for early eighties urbanites to get out into the wild.

Annabella was ecologically correct too. There are indeed free snakes out there; a fact that still thrills me each time I encounter one slithering through Sussex. As a child I thought snakes were exotic creatures which hung off African jungle branches in Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies to convey a vague sense of something sinister. But there's nothing sinister about the grass snake; the commonest of Britain’s three native snake species. Mesmerising eyes, gorgeous sleek scales of olive-green and a series of stripes along their flanks. For a cold-blooded reptile they sure look hot. A key identification feature is that yellow collar encircling the back of their head. Grass snakes have been rather short-changed when it comes to their name; they’re much better at swimming than they are at sitting in the grass (a bit like Johnny Weissmuller who performed better in the water than he did on dry land). You’ll find grass snakes gliding through the wet ditches and dykes or even in your garden pond as they hunt for their favourite food: frogs and toads.

These amphibious feasts really pile on the pounds so when their snakeskin suits become too tight they slip their skin to reveal a larger shiny set of scales underneath. They undertake several costume changes each year and can grow to an impressive size. 2-3 foot is typical for an adult grass snake but there are rumours of 6-foot long monsters out there. Of course they’re nothing be scared of. If threatened they either pretend to be dead, hiss a lot or “release a pungent, foul-smelling substance from their anal gland”. Coincidentally I've used two of these defence strategies myself in the past.

In July the female grass snakes excavate a chamber in a mound of decaying vegetation – a compost heap is perfect. Inside she lays 5-20 leathery eggs and the heap’s heat and humidity cook them to perfection. Set your egg timer for ten weeks and you’ll return to find pencil sized snakes emerging into the world.

I guess not everyone followed Bow Wow Wow’s advice back in 1982 because when leading my wildlife walks I’m always amazed at how many adults have never seen a snake in Britain. But it’s never too late to go wild in the country.